Excuses and Fighting Back

Lately, I have been thinking about excuses. Excuses don't usually come at face value, they usually disguise themselves as reasons that seem perfectly legitimate until we break them down. My big excuse for all my shortcomings for a while now has been the ages of my children, and specifically the small age gaps between them. This has been my resounding theme pretty much ever since I got pregnant with my second child when my first was just three months old. No one understands. No one has been through what I'm going through. If you were me, you wouldn't have a clean bathroom either.  Or a healthy diet. Or a healthy walk with the Lord.

Things have gotten a bit out of control while I've been hiding under this excuse. I have put up with so much from myself because "I'm in a unique stage, and it won't always be like this." And there may be a lot of truth to that, which I don't at all mean to discount or dismiss. But at the same time, I'm remembering what my husband told me about Victor Frankl, a man who endured indescribable hardship in the Holocaust and believed that it is not our circumstances but our response to our circumstances that determines who we are.

So maybe you are dealing with a uniquely difficult set of circumstances right now. Maybe even impossible from a human perspective. But there is no set of circumstances that frees us from the Christian responsibility of maintaining a clear conscience in the midst of the hardest life circumstances.

We must be praying, without ceasing!
We must be reading the word of God.
We must be dwelling at peace with all men, even (especially) those closest to us who hurt us the most- including our children.
We must be doing housework in our own hearts, sweeping out the dark corners and clearing out the sinful inhibitions.
We must be seeking ways to be useful and to serve even out of the midst of our difficult seasons.

I especially have been thinking about how I keep telling myself I won't still be living this way in a few years. Someday, out there in the future, I certainly won't still be stress eating and making excuses over my devotions and losing my temper with the child who spills her milk for the fifteenth time and collapsing in bed to watch Netflix the minute I have a spare moment in the evening. For now, this is the most I can muster. Then, on Never-tember 32nd, it will all be different.

But the reality is, if I want this stressful and difficult time to do it's good and perfect work in me- the work God intended for it to do- I need to be rising to the occasion and conquering myself in the midst of it, or else I have learned and gained nothing. The only thing I can think of worse than not getting through these crazy years is getting through them and looking back to find that I have wasted the entire time.

So here's to rising to the occasion, one impossible moment at a time. Here's to squeezing in the important things and squeezing out the unimportant. Here's to saying "I will," instead of "I can't." Here's to pleading with God for ability and even joy in the midst of what may feel like an insurmountable burden of difficulty. Here's to choosing positive actions when negative ones are hardwired into us. Here's to letting go of excuses and seeing what good God can do in our lives.

At the same time, as I strive for this goal, I pray that God would help me to remember that I are going to fail, time and time again, to obtain to this goal. And despite that, His grace and forgiveness and love will still cover me (and you) unfalteringly as long as my hope remains in Him. It is only in this context that we have any hope of success at all. 

How Much do Cloth Diapers REALLY Cost?

As I’ve ventured into the world of cloth diapers, I’ve been surprised to discover they aren’t as affordable as I would have hoped. They definitely can be used cost-effectively, but only if you are really careful about where your money is going. Here are some costs to consider as you calculate your cloth diaper budget.

Set-Up Costs

These are potential costs that occur upfront before you start diapering your baby.

Regular Daytime Diapers: $200 - $625+

Nighttime Diapers: $66 - $129+

Newborn Diapers: $84 - $360

Doublers/Washable liners: $0 - $45+

Diaper Pail: $0 - $80 ($30 is average)

Diaper Pail Liners: $20

Cloth Wipes: $0 - $54 ($30 is average)

Cloth Wipes Containers: $0 - $35 ($15 is average)

Travel Wet Bags: $10 - $40

Diaper Sprayer: $0 - $70 ($30 is average)

Clothes Line + Pins: $0 - $10

Diaper Sprayer Shield: $0 - $25

Diaper Organization: $0 - $50

Product Testing to determine which brand to use: $0 - $200+ ($50 would be plenty)

TOTAL: $380 - $1743+

These numbers are just rough estimates of what you would spend on Amazon.com or KellysCloset.com for low-end versus high-end products. It is always possible to spend more on cloth diapers, and also quite possible to spend less- for example, if you buy second hand, shop sales, etc. You may also have some things (like wipes containers or a trash can to use as a diaper pail) around the house, and you may not need all of these products depending on the type of cloth diapering system you choose to use.

Newborn/Sized Diapers

It is rarely cost effective to use newborn-sized cloth diapers unless you plan to use them on multiple children. However, this is still a necessary cost as you will likely have to buy disposables until your baby fits one-sized diapers. If you plan to use a sized cloth diaper system, your diaper costs will definitely be on the higher end of the spectrum, but you probably wouldn't have a seperate newborn category.

Monthly Costs

These are costs that occur every month as long as you are using cloth diapers.

Laundry: $8 - $25+ a month.

Disposable Diapers: $0 - $10

Disposable Wipes: $0 - $20

Flushable Liners: $0 - $10

Cloth Wipes Solution: $0 - $5

TOTAL: $8 - $70

Laundry

Laundry is one of the most complex and potentially expensive aspects of cloth diapers. This website will help you figure out how much you are spending. Plan to use large loads of hot water. One tradeoff to consider is that the more diapers you have, the less often you will have to wash them.

Ongoing use of Disposables

Few Cloth Diaper cost calculations include disposable diapers. I have found that real life demands disposables from time to time. We aim for about 30 a month, which gives us just barely enough to leave disposables with babysitters and nursery workers and to use them when diaper rashes get really bad. That costs about $5 a month for us.

Cost Trade-Offs

If these numbers are scaring you away, take comfort- no one will need to buy ALL of these things. For many items on these lists, there are trade-offs between setup and monthly costs. If you line dry your diapers instead of machine drying them, you will need lots of clothes line and pins, but will save around $0.46 per load on laundry costs. If you buy a diaper sprayer to remove solid poo, you don’t need to use flushable liners. Cloth wipes increase your setup cost, but will save money every month on disposables. In all of these cases, one option (usually the more expensive one) is significantly more convenient.

Cheapest Route

Because of the cost trade-offs, it is NOT really possible to spend only $380 on setup costs and $8 a month on monthly costs. So how affordable can cloth diapers be?

Setup

Regular Daytime Diapers: $200

Nighttime Diapers: $66

Newborn Diapers: $100 for disposable diapers for 2 months

Doublers/Washable liners: $0 (use diapers that come with plenty of absorbency)

Diaper Pail: $0 - use a plastic trash can

Diaper Pail Liners: $20

Cloth Wipes: $15 for 30

Cloth Wipes Containers: $0 (use containers from disposable wipes)

Travel Wet Bags: $10

Diaper Sprayer: $30

Clothes Line + Pins: $10

Diaper Sprayer Shield: $0 (not a necessary product)

Diaper Organization: $0

Product Testing to determine which brand to use: $0

Total - $451

Monthly

Laundry: $8

Disposable Diapers: $0 (only works if your childcare workers are on board!)

Disposable Wipes: $0 (same as above)

Flushable Liners: $0 (use the diaper sprayer to remove solid poo)

Cloth Wipes Solution: $5

Total - $13

Cost Comparison to Disposables

My general estimate is that it costs about $50 a month to keep one child in disposable diapers. So this is the calculation I use to determine if my cloth diapering habits are cost-effective:

Cost of Disposables ($50) - Monthly cost of cloth X 30 Months = Max amount to spend on setup cost.

Most children potty train around the age of 2 1/2, which equals 30 months of use. So in order to break even with the cost of disposables, I figure I cannot spend more on setup cost than I save using cloth over the course of 30 months.

Example:

So lets say you spend $25 a month on cloth diaper monthly costs. Your calculation is:

50 - 25 = 25

25 X 30 = 750

So if you spend $750 on setup costs, you will spend pretty much the same amount on cloth diapering your baby as if you had used disposables. If you only spend $500 on setup costs, you will have $250 of savings at the end of 30 months. Of course, this isn't a lot of savings. But if you take my Cheapest Route example, you could save a grand total of $659 in 30 months.

Multiple Children

The greatest cost benefit of cloth diapering comes for families who plan to use them on multiple children. If you are able to recoup all of your setup costs with you first baby, every dollar you save on future children will be actual savings. Based on my calculations, you could save as much as $1,110 by cloth diapering your second child. You may have to replace some items as they wear out, but the savings will still be exciting.

Conclusion

I hope this post helps you to see how cloth diapers can easily become very expensive, but also how they can be used affordably. Of course, there are many reasons to use cloth other than saving money, but at least now you are empowered to make informed decisions! Happy shopping!

Of Births and Beginnings

I wrote the first half of this the week Juniper was born, and the second half tonight. It is a bit rambling, but I think it accurately captures the thoughts and emotions of early motherhood and wanted to save them here so I wouldn't forget. 



What a strange thing it is to wake up one morning with nothing but small beige bandaids on your back and wrist to remind you of the most painful, exhilarating and rewarding experience of your life... And nothing but a few stretch marks and unwanted pounds to remind you of the one thing that has defined you for the last 9 months of your life. 

Pregnancy and labor are surrounded by a culture of support amongst woman, a culture of comrodery and stories and advise. We don't mind talking about the nitty gritty of breastfeeding, diaper rashes, labor recovery and beyond, and don't get us started on product recommendations, vaccinations, or feeding schedules... We can talk about these things for hours. But we so rarely make mention of the vastly emotional experience that motherhood is... And I don't just mean the stuff about loving your kids more than you imagined possible or feeling overwhelmed and frustrated more than you imagined possible. There is also an incredibly surreal, passionate, evasive, complex set of emotions that come with motherhood, and I think they are highlighted at the birth of each child. 

For me, motherhood is a clothes line of moments strung out between wooden pins, still-frame images that define everything in-between. A child's first smile or steps, or a moment shared between the whole family abruptly and unexpectedly on a sunny day between doctor's visits and chores. Watching them sleep after the longest of long days, when I swore I couldn't wait to shut their door. And the bad moments are in there too... Agonizing over a child's sin and feeling tears prick my own eyes as I am forced to disapline for the 10th time. The feelings of sinking loneliness when faced with two dirty, exuberant faces for another 10 hour day by myself. The exhaustion of being that mom in the grocery store loosing control of her children like so many apples spilling off the produce counter. And on and on it goes- highs and lows, good and bad, lovely and ugly all mixed together airing out to dry on my memory line. 

But births are different. Births yank me out of that rhythm and remind me that there is life outside the constant ups and downs of my roll as a mother, and give me a fresh perspective on the entire world around me.  In a birth, you are not just a mother bringing a child into your world to nurture and love along with the others. In a birth, you are an astonished observer of something far outside of your own life. You become the audience for a moment and can only marvel at what is happening through you. At the time of a child's birth I am very aware of the fact that no child will every truly be mine- at best we have them on loan while God uses us to mess them up or help them out in their own unique ways before sending them out on their own paths. A birth is something that happens in the life of a mother, but it is a bigger event in the life of the child, though they will never remember it.

And now, three months later, the experience of that birth is already much faded. Already the intense gratitude for pain medication is being replaced by regret that I couldn’t deliver naturally. Already I’m knee-deep in diets and exercise programs, sighing and sometimes crying over stretch marks and fleeting youth instead of marveling over what my body can do. And already this little miracle placed in my arms is just another part of the family, too often to be shuffled around amid the chaos with the sole goal of being kept quiet. 

Today she laughed for the first time- a little splash of a giggle that washed over me more like a tidal wave. One small reminder that this fussy, messy, inconvenient little bundle is actually a real live person with thoughts and feelings of her own. 

Perhaps this is what so attracts us to youth... the great unknown. Youth caries with it the promise of a true beginning, the only true beginning we will ever have. Like Ann-with-an-E's proverbial tomorrow, youth is a blank canvas of hope and prospect and big-ness, with no mistakes in it yet. Generation after generation lives to more or less see those hopes fall short, and yet we keep looking at our little ones with tenacious excitement for the lives they will also fall short of living. 

But God.

With God, there is hope of making something out of all this nothing- a life surrendered freely and openly to Him is worth something. Personally and cosmically. 

And He is kind enough to give us moments, like births, when everything seems as big and full and happy as we thought life should be. Or maybe it does’t just seem that way, maybe it actually IS. Even if just for a while.

I know someday the happy drumming of bare feet against hardwood will turn into shuffling flip flops on their way out the door, leaving more than coming back. I know these children can’t possibly live up to the bright and hopeful future I have envisioned for them- nobody could. But for tonight, I am content to know that I’m in a stage of parenting where the worst I have to complain about is the wear and tear on my own body- the exhaustion of each day and the deeper exhaustion of pregnancies and breastfeeding. I’m thankful to be in a season of hope. And I think that these hopes will slowly be replaced by deeper trust in God as these children grow older and I have to turn them over more and more to His care. Until then, I give thanks for big dreams and big prayers that for now must go unanswered. 

3rd Trimester Checklist

3^rd Trimester: 

-Choose a pediatrician 

-Pre-register at the hospital

-Finish shopping for baby supplies

-Buy labor, delivery and recovery supplies

-Finish the nursery

-Purge/organize around the house

-Read materials on labor + delivery, make a birth plan (if desired)

-Plan/shop for your nursing wardrobe

Final Month:

-Put meals in the freezer

-Plan newborn photo shoot (if desired)

-Put together a list of phone numbers to text with labor updates

-Pack hospital bag

-Arrange childcare for older children

-Wash baby clothes, bedding and various covers

-Wash feeding supplies/pump

-Make sure bouncer, swing, and other electronics are working properly

-Visit the salon (if desired) 

-Plan for thank you notes + birth announcements 

Final Week:

-Stock up on home supplies

-Clean the house thoroughly
-Make sure you are caught up on bills, emails, etc.

Capsule Wardrobe

Lately I've gotten to the end of my rope with clothing. When I stumbled across a blog post about a so-called "Capsule Wardrobe" I immediately became obsessed. Here is my plan for creating my own summer capsule wardrobe- and don't worry, I already have a lot of these items (and you do too!) so this won't be as expensive as it looks. In keeping with the most common Capsule trend I kept it to 37 items. This doesn't include underthings, workout clothes, earrings, sunglasses, hair things, lounge wear, PJ's, etc. etc.  I made sure my wardrobe had plenty of pieces for every kind of summer occasion I could think of. 

37 Items for a budgeted $755:

$120 - 8 tops

Look for color, pattern, and texture! 

-Classic white T $15

-Classy graphic T $15

-Tank Top 1 $10

-Tank Top 2 $10

-Trendy/Patterend top 1 $20

-Trendy/Patterned top 2 $20

-Colorful basic T 1 (match skirts) $15

-Colorful basic T 2 (match skirts) $15

$155 - 5 Pants 

Must all be in solid neutrals of denim, kaki, white, or black

-Short 1 $25

-Short 2 $25

-Capri $30 

-Jeans $30

-Dressy capris $35

$75 - 3 skirts

2 must all be in neutrals, 1 may be patterned but must match 3 shirts

-Pencil Skirt $25

-Maxi Skirt $25

-Twirly skirt $25

$100 - 4 dresses 

Color, pattern, and texture is good!

-Sundress 1 $20

-Sundress 2 $20

-Little Black Dress $35

-Other formal-occasion dress $25

$85 - 5 Pairs of Shoes 

Fun colors as long as they don't clash with any shirts

-Flip Flops $15

-Pumps $20

-Casual flats $15

-Sandals $15

-Sneakers $20

$140 - 6 Jackets 

Must all be in solid neutrals of denim, kaki, white, or black

-black shrug $20

-white shrug (lace vest?) $20

-denim vest $30

-light long-sleeve sweater $20

-short sleeve blazer $30

-white button-up $20

$80 - 6 Accessories 

Fun colors as long as they don't clash with any shirts

-Summer scarf (white) $15

-Beads $10

-Bracelets $15

-Belt $15

-Hat $15

-Neutral statement earrings $10

And along with this, here is some of the best Capsule Wardrobe advise I've picked up along the way:

-Don't go cheap with these items. The idea is to get quality that you can wear over and over again, for multiple summers in a row.

-Don't expect to get everything on the list in one year. Save whatever you can from your wardrobe and trade them out for nicer pieces slowly over time. Set yourself a monthly budget so you don't get too carried away all at once! 

-Don't make it too matchy-matchy. Going with neutral bottoms and jackets enable you to vary the colors in tops, dresses, and accessories- and those don't always need to match perfectly in order to look trendy!

-Follow the 4-piece outfit rule: When planning a wardrobe, grab one top+bottom or dress, one jacket, one shoe, and one (or more) accessory. Layering and accessorizing is THE KEY to looking fashionable. 

-Pick pieces that can transfer to fall, spring and winter as often as possible, but definitely grab a couple super-summery pieces to retire too. Having clothes you wear only 1/4 of a year will keep you from feeling the need to shop. 

-Treat yourself to a couple new pieces each season and retire some old ones to keep things interesting. Once your capsule wardrobe is established, you shouldn't need to shop except when something gets worn out or ruined. 

-Form must always follow function- pick clothes that are comfortable and that make you want to wear them.

-Modify any capsule wardrobe formula to fit your specific needs and tastes. 

-Always ask yourself the question- is this the image I want to portray? 

-Don't go too crazy with the latest fashion trends... stick with mostly classic pieces that won't become dated too quickly. 

-Just do it... get rid of the pieces that only work with one or two things. You want a grab and go wardrobe!

Happy shopping, happy purging! 

The Complete Maternity and Nursing Wardrobe

This post is for ladies only! It's time to get down to the details of how to dress during the baby-making stage of life.

So, let's face it- with the vast variety of sweet, tiny, soft things out there on the baby market, the last thing we pregnant women want is to spend money on ourselves. Getting ready for a baby is lots of fun, and I know because I've been in the thick of it for the last several weeks! But it's important to set aside some of that pre-baby money to keep ourselves clothed, too. Our bodies go through a LOT of change in the nine months leading up to a baby and again in the nine-to-twelve months following.

Here's my list of must-haves. The pictures are links to websites selling these or similar items.

NOTE: All of these items together add up to about $500 at retail value. Of course, very few of us have the money to go out and buy all of it at once! I recommend putting aside a certain amount a month for the first six months or so- you won't need some of these items until the end anyway. And of course, be a diligent shopper and watch those sales and coupons!

1. Two great pairs of jeans - Old Navy - $60

Jeans are so tricky! Everyone has a different opinion about what works for them. Just keep in mind that what might feel right in the first trimester will likely be too tight in the third. In my experience, a loose elastic waist band (not over-the-belly) stays on fine for the first trimester and grows to accommodate the third trimester as well. Old Navy is the place to go as they have a huge selection and are very affordable! I like to have one straight-legged, darker pair for dress-up days and one pair of faded skinny jeans for more casual occasions.

2. Heavy Duty Bra - Target - $20

 Make sure to get something that leaves a little room for growth, but nothing too loose- as I said, support is essential. I even recommend a sports bra for most of the pregnancy. 

3. Belly Band - Target - $17

Some people absolutely swear by these things because of the extra belly support. For me, it was just an awesome replacement to the cami! Wearing camisoles during pregnancy doesn't always work, but these fit awesome around the waist (to cover the shirt/jean gap) or around the bust (for modesty under low-cut shirts and dresses).

4. At least 2 casual skirts - Amazon - $40

Skirts are awesome for pregnancy, if they are long enough to go without leggings and thick enough to go without a slip. They are more comfortable than shorts for the summer, and very forgiving of ever-changing bodies.

I couldn't find a good web link for it, but I prefer to buy my skirts at Fred Meyer where there is always a huge variety and often good sales and coupons. You don't need maternity skirts, just regular ones with elastic waists. You may already have some in your closet! Solid colors are good for versatility and matching potential.

5. A comfy pair of cropped pants or dress pants - Motherhood Maternity - $35

These can be dressed up or down, and are often a lot more comfortable than jeans. Pick something season-appropriate and be prepared to wear them a LOT!

6. Supportive Shoes, a size too big - Costco - $15

You will want something versatile that will be both comfortable and forgiving on swelling feet. You may even want a second pair or a pair of slippers for around the house, if you're on your feet a lot.

7. At least 3 ruched, casual t-shirts - Liz Lange (Target) - $60

These will go with shorts, capris, and skirts, and work awesome for all stages of pregnancy and post-pregnancy too!

8. At least 2 flowy, stylish shirts - Liz Lange (Target) - $50

 

Empire waists are the best for these! They will go with jeans and maybe capris. Good for showing off baby bump without emphasizing the less-exciting new curves that may be appearing!

9. At least one cute maternity dress - Motherhood Maternity - $20

There are a zillion possibilities here, and really a lot of non-maternity dresses work for pregnancy too. But it never hurts to have a go-to outfit for those days when you want to look just right and show off that belly at the same time. :-)

10. Cute and Comfy PJ's - Motherhood Maternity - $24

This may seem SO unnecessary, but as that bump gets bigger it can be REALLY annoying to have your belly sticking out of your pj's all the time. Also, the tendency is to resort to ugly, oversized t-shirts, which doesn't help you feel beautiful as your waist size expands. Also, these PJ's are called "A Bump In The Night" which I find hilarious!

11. Maternity swim suit top - Liz Lange (Target) - $25

Again, this is for those of you with summer due dates... I wear mine with a sports bra for modesty and gym shorts. Otherwise it's pretty much impossible to find something to wear to the pool, and that can be ultra-depressing when you're dying to escape the heat!

12. Fake Wedding Ring - Claire's - $10

 

If you're like me and hate walking around pregnant without a wedding ring, you might want to buy a cheap plastic ring in a size or two bigger than your actual ring. That way, when your fingers swell up and you have to say goodbye to your real ring for a while, you can still let people know that you're taken.

13. Super comfy lounge-around-the-house pants - Target - $15

Any yoga/sports/beach pants will do. Having clothes that are comfy and yet not all-out pj's are essential for those days when you feel like crap but don't want to look it.

14. Nursing Bras - Target, Walmart, and Amazon - $60

Get a couple for sleeping, a couple for casual wear, and at least one sturdy under-wire one for going out. The picture links to a great article about finding the best nursing bras for you. I have found that Target and Walmart are great resources for the basic sleeping and t-shirt bras, and of course Amazon has the rest.

15. At least two Nursing Camis - Undercover Mama (Amazon) - $40

These are the leading brand in nursing camisoles, and boy are they a fabulous idea! They clip onto your nursing bra, so you don't have to wrangle with multiple layers of clothes to nurse. This also makes it possible to nurse in just about any top, as long as it can be pulled up.

So there you have it- 15 items you can't live without. There are obviously a ton of other things you could buy, but if you start with these you won't find yourself wishing you'd saved your money for something more important!

Of Mrs. Proverbs 31 and Jonah

This has been one of those days.

I mean the kind where a week of visiting with out of town guests comes to an abrupt end, leaving you with nothing else to do but acknowledging that your drawers and closets are empty and all your clothes are in the laundry pile. Meanwhile the house hasn't really been thoroughly cleaned in three weeks, and the dog is blowing his coat so it seems like for every hair you sweep up three more fall in it's place. And you have two doctor's appointments this week, plus a weekend getaway for your husband's work, so there is packing to be done and all of last week's shopping and bills to catch up on, and not much time at all to do it. So the pressure is high and you feel like you're going to scream if you can't get a decent amount of things knocked off the to do list.

Meanwhile you're REALLY feeling pregnant lately and not sleeping too well at night so you're irritable and exhausted before you even start. And your baby has chicken pox, so she is grumpy and clingy and demands to be fed on an hourly basis.

What? You've never had this day? I thought I was speaking in totally generic realities.

But you know what I mean! Sometimes it seems that everything is colliding all at once, and it's like there's this giant swirling force field encompassing the survival of all humanity pointed right at you, and if you can't absorb it all in your person everyone will DIE. I'm being dramatic- but it almost feels this way sometimes.

It is in these times when I start to panic about the big picture. Thoughts like these start to swim through my head:

• "If this is how bad it is with ONE baby, how am I going to manage two... or more??"
• "Being a mother really is the most demeaning, unfufilling job in the world! What have I gotten myself into?"
• "I'm never going to have time to write again."
• "I'm becoming a cranky witch. See, I smell like bleach and can't even muster up a smile for my husband."
• "None of this even MEANS anything. Life is empty and forlorn."
• "I'm such a bad mom- my heart sinks when I hear my baby waking up from a nap! I used to love getting her up."

And on it goes.
This made me think of the Proverbs 31 woman. She always seems like such an inspiring character- so noble and productive and cheerful at all times. It's hard to imagine her having a day like this or loosing sight of the larger vision of her calling. In fact I find myself believing that if she ever made a to-do list, she would get it done no matter how many of her kids had the chicken pox. She would make a game out of it and nurse them all back to health with perfect loving-kindness and spin around the house cleaning with a song on her lips.
Then I realized I was thinking of Marry Poppins, not anyone in the Bible. I decided to read the passage and noticed something rather comforting: very little is said about what the Proverbs 31 woman actually accomplishes. The emphasis is far more on the WAY in which she works. The text says she...

• does her husband good and not evil
• works with eager hands
• gets up while it is still night
• sets about her work vigorously
• is clothed with strength and dignity
• speaks with wisdom
• does not eat the bread of idleness

Much of this has to do with the concept of diligence, but the reality of motherhood is that diligence and productivity do not always go hand in hand. Sometimes we may toil from dawn until dusk and all we will have to show for it is a messy house and unbathed children. But God will know that we spent our hours productively, in the care and nurturing of eternal souls- and I'm sure He doesn't judge us based on our to-do lists. What a wonderful encouragement this is!
So I hope that in future days I will do a better job remembering to ask myself what God would have me to be doing at each moment. Sometimes it is SO frustrating not being able to get things done, and perhaps this in and of it's self is a way that God stretches and grows us. Learning to trust Him with the use of my time is something that will not come easily, but I know it has rich rewards. Why? See the ending of Proverbs 31:

28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

And though I thought all those silly, fatalistic things earlier in the day, look where I am now- sitting in a tranquil, (mostly) clean house while the sun is setting and Katara is finally sleeping peacefully. And I know tomorrow I will be happy to get her up again, and feel a huge sense of relief knowing that I made it through the worst part of the week- even if I didn't get as much done as I would have liked. I just wish I could have realized this at the beginning and cut myself more slack. Today was doomed to be difficult for so many reasons. We all have our Jonah days. We can't always be saving cities, sometimes we have to sit in the belly of the whale. If that's where God wants me to be, it is best that I learn to spend the hours praying, and His lessons for me will eventually become clear.